Post office Paranoia

I went to the post office yesterday to mail my application in to the Allegheny County DA's office, and the clerk asked me how fast I wanted it to get there. Knowing it was not time sensitive, I said, as cheaply as possible. She responded by asking if I wanted to guarantee it. I said, no. She said, kind of snobbishly, "well, then we can't guarantee it will get there." What The F is That All About???? I am mailing it in the same county. Since when do I have to pay to guarantee that my mail is delivered? What happens if I pay for the guarantee? Do they give it to a special mail carrier that never takes his eyes off of it? I bet not. Or, does it mean I get my money back if they lose it, so, in essence, they will try harder not to lose it? If that is the case, who gives a shit, I still have to remail it they lose it. What the hell is up with, "well, then we can't guarantee it will get there." Bull shit, I brought it there, all you have to do is run it 30 minutes into downtown. GET IT THERE!!!!!